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A taxi, reluctantly, took me down to the valley where I had gone a fortnight before.As the car disappeared in a cloud of dust I clambered over the fence.Standing by the gate, after the dust had drifted away, I closed my eyes, and breathed in Australia’s native scents. Refreshed, I quickly undressed, felt the breeze and sun on my skin, left collecting my small bag for later, and walked up to Fleur’s house.Just me, no accessories; nothing, not even shoes or ear studs. Except that is for the container I carried. Fleur watched me every step of the way.“Is that what I think it is?” she asked, holding out her arms, invitingly. And, putting down my container, I stepped into her arms and, as our breasts mashed together, nipples grazing, we softly kissed, a lovers’ kiss.“Yes,” I replied, when we broke our kiss, “I mixed my menstrual blood with water last weekend to keep it liquid.”“Cool, let’s pour it on the zucchini patch. I buried mine there last week. Adding yours should mean the biggest. I dreamed of sitting on the porch of a cabin in front of a lake, with a man who worshipped me. I saw barbecues and grand kids running around for me to spoil. I saw us traveling and seeing places together, I saw it all. I think the thing that was most important though, the thing I miss the most in my life right now is the love.A few years ago, there had obviously been something wrong with me. I can see it now, but I didn't then. Call it a midlife crisis. Call it the change or menopause or empty nest syndrome. Call it abject stupidity or any of the other three million names that we use when a woman makes a really stupid decision. My greatest hope is that it's not too late to fix it.I have nothing to lose by trying though. What's the worst thing that can happen? I can try to get Dale to forgive me and take me back and he can say, no. Then I'll be miserable. But I'm already miserable so how much worse can it be?Okay, it can be much worse. Right now, I'm miserable but at least I have.
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